If you don't already know, I am 23 years old and I have never left home. Some of you may think that that's pretty pathetic, and I'd honestly have to agree with you. But lots of people do the same and they're not pathetic in the least bit. I guess it all depends on the person. In my opinion, my never having left home makes me quite the loser. I don't want to just beat myself up all night, so I think the further I go on with this post, the better I will feel about my current situation.
I tried going to college right out of high school, but decided to stay local. So I went to the University at Albany in the fall of 2009, I packed all my stuff and moved into the dorms. Didn't last one night there. I was so depressed and miserable that I called up my parents and went home. Stayed home ever since. To this very day I deeply regret my decision. But I think now that I'm doing better these days, it's harder for me to understand where my mind was back then. I have my own reasons for staying home and for staying home this long. Some days are tougher than others. Anyway, I'm thinking a lot more about trying to move out of my parents' house and starting my life all on my own. But it's not working out so well.
I've made it this far, however, and that's gotta mean something, right? I know there are a lot of people out there nowadays with no job, no money, etc., so they have decided to move back in with mom and dad. And if they'll have you, then why not? But I know it's not always the easiest thing to do, so here are my tips on surviving living at home with your parents as an adult...
1. Respect your elders. This is tip A-NUMERO-UNO. Your parents may not like being called "elders," but if they're your actual parents, then they're older than you, so... It just makes sense. Anyway, your parents have their ways and their rules of the house and though you may not always agree with them, you're living in their house and you need to respect them. This is all the needs to be said about this tip, because it's seriously self-explanatory. And you'll avoid a crap-ton of conflicts if you just back up off your parents and their oddly specific rules.
2. Avoid conflict. This follows tip #1 perfectly. If you respect your parents and their rules, you will avoid most, if not all conflict. If you sense a conflict arising, get out immediately. This may mean having to tiptoe around your parents from time to time, but as long as it isn't hurting anybody, you should be good.
3. Get out of the house as often as possible. Don't sit in your room or alone in your basement in the dark. Make some friends, go out with them. Even if you have no one to go out with, go for a walk by yourself, go to the movies, go out to dinner. Do something to avoid staying in the house with your parents. Spending time with them is great, yes, but you can't spend every waking second with them. So do something separate from your family, and go and enjoy yourself.
4. Stay in school, or keep up with the job search. This tip is also super important. You can't live there forever - you need to make a life for yourself eventually. So go to school, study something you like/love, intern somewhere, get some college credits, graduate, find a career. If college isn't your thing (which, dude, I know, it's not for everyone!), find a job in which you can work a bucket load of hours for, and make some serious guap. Save that shit UP. This is also helpful in that it gives you something else to do outside of the house - tip #3 & #4 can go hand-in-hand in this sense.
5. Personal space is a MUST. You need your own space in the house to conduct whatever "adult-like business" you deem necessary. Drugs, porn, etc. (I'm only somewhat joking). But in all seriousness, you need some time alone in your own separate place to relax, watch some tv, read a book, whatever you do. Hopefully you have your own room, or even the entire basement to yourself from time to time. But when you wind up spending too much time alone, refer to tip #3.
That's all I can think of for now. I hope some of it is helpful. I know it's all been very helpful for me lately. I basically live with Hitler, so I mean... That was a joke. My dad is just very particular and strict, but he's a good guy. And my mom is the best mom anyone could have asked for. So they're great people, and I love them to death, but it's still hard to live with people who have their own way of doing things and who pay for everything I use and eat and basically do. I need to remember that and be grateful.
xoxo,
Clare
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