How to Feel Better About Yourself

Hey, friends. How's it going?

Lately I have been feeling really down on myself in all areas and aspects of my life, and I realize that I am the only person who can do anything about it. So why not write about it? I would imagine writing out a list of ways to help me feel better about me would be quite helpful. Here goes nothing.

Before I get into my "steps" to How to Feel Better about Yourself, I think it would make sense to start off by explaining to you what it's like to dislike yourself (if you're not familiar with the feeling). I know plenty of people dislike something about themselves (which is very sad and unfortunate and I wish I could help change everyone's minds on the subject), but I feel that not many people actually hate themselves or very strongly dislike everything about themselves. I could be wrong on that, but I don't honestly think I am. I think people who don't suffer from depression or severe anxiety like myself view themselves much differently -- in a much more positive light. Let me just say that it sucks a whole lot to truly hate oneself. I see myself as fat, ugly and stupid. I wish I was different person almost all the time. It's really not a fun way to live, as I'm sure you can imagine.

I realize you may be thinking, "Well then, do something about it. Make the changes." And yeah, I know, I've heard this a million times. I can change things for myself to make things better. But nothing is ever that easy. Nothing that is ever easy is worth it. Or however that saying goes. It's difficult for me, as well as many of other people out there, to build up the energy and motivation to make those drastic changes. Of course it would be worth it, and of course it's what I want - to be better. You just have to realize that, like many things in life, all of that is much easier said than done.

That having been said, I'm working on changing those things I hate about myself (as much as can be changed), and I'm here to help you, too, get an idea of how to do so.

1. Eat healthy. Eat good, feel good. Anyone with a brain will tell you the same thing. The better and healthier you eat, the better you feel mentally, physically, emotionally. Trust me on this one.

2. Exercise. Goes hand-in-hand with the eating healthy. When you feel physically well, you feel mentally and emotionally well, too. Whether you're into the workout scene or you just enjoy taking a short walk around the block, take time out to do something.

3. Tell yourself three positive things a day. Just three small positive affirmations a day can make a world of a difference. Look in the mirror and tell yourself something you like about YOU: "You are beautiful," "You are smart," etc. And if you find yourself forgetting to do this step, put little sticky notes all over the place with some of those compliments on them.

4. Do something kind for someone else. When you do good for others, you feel better. It's just a fact. That homeless guy on the corner could use a dollar, hold the door open for someone coming in after you, pay for the next person at the drive-thru's order, etc. It can be something so so simple, and it will make you feel good about being a good person.

5. Do something you love at least once a day. Get creative, read, watch a movie. Do something that you enjoy, make enough time for it, and the most important part of all -- ENJOY IT. Don't think about anything else but that. Do something nice for YOU, because you deserve it.

6. Get a good night's sleep. 8-10 hours is your best bet, no matter how old you are. Get a good night's rest and wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. You'll feel ready to take on the day in a much better mood and with a much more positive attitude.

7. Spend time with people who love you and make you happy. Be with friends and family who enjoy your company. Avoid the people who bring you down by bullying you and insulting you for no good reason. You don't deserve that. You're better than they say you are. Spend more time with the people who build you up and love you for who you are. And don't forget to have a good time with them, you deserve to be happy.

That's all I've got for you today, folks. Hope that was helpful. Stay warm. I'll write more again soon. Thanks for reading.

Living with Depression: the Never-Ending War Between My Brain and I

I have tried writing this post for over a month, and although I know it won't be anywhere near what I truly want it to say, it needs to just be written already. Hang in there with me while I try and navigate some of these thoughts and ideas.

If you don't already know, I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and Bipolar Disorder since I was around the age of 13. Things grew progressively worse at 16, and have only continued to plummet since then. I am 24. I have been hospitalized four times since 18, all due to suicide attempts gone wrong (or right? -- One could certainly argue that the fact that I was not successful in those attempts is a good thing). I have been on nearly every anti-depressant/ anti-psychotic/ anti-anxiety medication you can think of. I've even tried the natural route, with vitamins and teas that are meant to help mood swings and disorders. I've tried acupuncture, a special chiropractor, yoga, etc. Currently, I go to therapy once a week and I see my psychiatrist at least once a month to check up on medications and things.

I am obviously going to be completely honest and open with you in this post, as I have been thus far. It's going to be hard, but I really need to get it all out - or at least as much of it as I can get out. If you don't want to hear it (as I know many people probably will feel and have felt in the past), then leave. I'll be truthful and tell you that for those of you who really do not give a flying f*ck, I am angry with you. And I probably always will be. At any rate, I'm going to continue with this whether you like it or not, because I'm hoping it helps me, and ultimately helps others.

For those of you that don't know what it's like to suffer from chronic depression, this is probably only going to scratch the surface. There is no way in hell that I can describe how this feels and how Goddamn f*cking miserable it is. But I'm going to try, and maybe you'll have a better sense or understanding of mental illness.

It's been at least 3 weeks since I started feeling this depressed. I've been depressed before, obviously. But this time feels different. Part of it feels almost like it's the very end of it, part of it feels like it will last forever. Which would you prefer: dying now but ending your pain? Or living longer having to endure that pain? You don't need to answer that, of course; I haven't answered it yet either, nor do I really ever wish to.

Let me explain a bit what this "pain" is like... Imagine you are sitting in a chair in the corner of a room. It's a nice, comfortable chair in the corner of a nice, comfortable room. Maybe it's your bedroom, maybe it's your living room. Wherever you want this chair to be, just picture it as a cozy chair in a room that you like, a room that you feel at home in. You're sitting there, with nothing but your own thoughts to entertain you. So you start to think about little things, things you see in the room, maybe you think about how you're currently feeling, or about what you have to do that day. Then those thoughts turn into bigger thoughts - like, "What am I doing wasting time in this chair? I should be doing something with my life right now! Get up, get up!" And then those thoughts turn into, "But why do I need to be doing something with my life? What's the point? What's the point of this and that and anything?" And then you break into a sweat, a panicked sweat. This place you inhabit is so much bigger than just you sitting in that stupid chair in that stupid room. And you begin to worry and wonder and want to get out. You want to crawl out of your own skin, run away, go somewhere where you don't have to have these thoughts. ---- Okay, so I'm realizing how difficult this may be to comprehend for some of you. You may be thinking, "That escalated quickly!" or "What the heck?!" I suck at explaining things, so let me just try something else. Bear with me here...

It would be extremely cliche of me to tell you that this pain is like having a storm cloud hovering over you on a constant basis, but it's actually a very good analogy. As a wannabe writer, I'm trying to think of a better metaphor, but my creative juices are just not flowin' lately, so we'll stick with the storm cloud and see where it takes us. So it's this big, grey cloud that basically just dumps rain on you at the most random times. There's also a significant amount of thunder and lightning going on there, too. What I mean is, you are sad. A LOT. And it hits you at random times. And sometimes, you're not just sad, but you're angry and irritated. And it gets so bad that you don't know how to handle it, and you just want to start bashing your head into the wall. Like, a hundred times. ----- Urgh, this is not easy. Sorry, I'm trying.

Essentially, what I'm aiming to say is that depression sucks. And I often can't control it, and it just hits me like a ton of bricks at times. It sometimes gets so bad that I think about wanting to just go to sleep and then hope and pray that I don't wake up. Other times, I want to be proactive in my own death, so I down a couple of bottles of pills and wake up in a hospital bed with tubes up my nose and mouth.

I am doing a fairly terrible job of explaining and getting my point across. Well, actually, I don't know if I even have a point, truthfully. I'm just letting the world (or the one to two people that actually read this) know that I am not okay, and that is okay. I think.

Thanks for reading; I'll try to clear my head and write something much more logical later.

Happy 2015!

Happy New Year, friends!

Instead of giving you a cliche blog post about how it's a new year and a new you, etc etc etc, I would like to start out with some personal stuff.

I've been sick since Christmas Eve (UGH), and I was hoping (by some miracle) that my sickness wouldn't carry into the new year. Alas, I am still sick and it's day 3 of 2015. After a series of unfortunate events involving a shitty human being, my dog, and some pepper spray, I've had sinus troubles for just about 10 days now. It's been a fun bunch of days, let me tell you. I've also been working every day since Christmas Eve (except for today, thankfully) and the combination of sinus problems and working has not been all that wonderful. But I am trying to make the most of my free time. And by that I mean going to bed at 10 pm and waking up at 10 am. Which gives me a solid 2 hours per day to sit around, eat, and read. So it's safe to say that my 2015 hasn't been all that great or eventful, but I'm going to be positive and turn things around by the time this sickness finally goes away. As I'm sure you know, being sick does not make it easy to be positive or have fun or do anything that you would even remotely consider fun. So I've been a sick, cold, sleepy mess.

In other news (although I'm sure you don't really care, but I'm going to tell you anyway), I am being tapered off of all my antidepressants aaand I could not be more ecstatic about it! I have been on medications since I was roughly 16 (I'll be 24 this month, do the math). I have only ever been off of any sort of medication for about one month when I was 17. So now I'm slowly coming down off of the medicines I've been on for so long, and although I don't feel any different, I feel entirely optimistic about it. By the middle of this month, I will no longer be taking any medication and I'm beyond excited. My point is this: new year, new me. So, in turn, you can do the same.

Let's get down to business for today's post, then: how to make the most of 2015, and here's how to do it in 2 simple steps!

1. Make a list of things you wish to accomplish over the course of the year. They can be ridiculous things that you may never do or get done, or they can be things that you do daily anyway. Whatever you decide to write down, make it fun, and make sure it will make you happy either writing it down or DOING it. Here's my little list to the right. When I originally wrote this list, I wrote some silly things (fly to the moon, be Batman, etc), but decided I really wanted to take care of some business this year. So I went with things I know I can accomplish and successfully do. And I can do all of them with a little bit less stress. They're also mostly fun things to do, so that makes them more appealing and more than likely easier to do and get done. I've already started planning things to get my room all ready for some decorating (I'm getting a new bed, woohoo!) I'm working a lot, so there's the saving of the money. I'm going on vacation on Monday, I'm talking more with my coworkers, I'm being more positive, I'm drawing more, photographing more, and exercising more. Doing all of these things will lead to my ultimate goal, which lies at the bottom of my list: BEING HAPPY. Which I highly suggest you put on your list as well. The main thing is to keep it simple and keep it fun.

2. Stop dreaming, start DOING. Time to get down and dirty! To the list! Cross some of those things off that list! Go bungee jumping, skydiving, paint, fly, write! Do whatever it is your little heart desires. Try new things, foods, people, places. This year is all about YOU. Get out there and do something. Volunteer, work, travel, eat! Whatever it is, DO IT. RIGHT AWAY. DON'T PUT IT OFF. What are you still doing here reading?! GO GO GO!

That's all I got for you, amigos. I'm not much fun right now as I am trying to keep my brains from falling out of my nostrils (Yeah, that pepper spray really got me). But anyway - HAPPY 2015! MAKE IT A GOOD ONE!

xoxo, Clare

How to Throw an Epic Christmas Party

Now I'm no expert on anything, but I do know how to plan and decorate for an event or party like it's nobody's business.

But that is not to say that my parties are at all successful or fun. Because, I'll be quite honest, you need friends (or more people--even a damn hobo off the street will do) in order to make said parties a success or at all entertaining. But ya gotta give me some credit for at least trying. Okay?

For Halloween, I had a total of 5 people at my "party." Those 5 people will lie to you and tell you they "still had fun." So maybe I should take that and run with it and then lie to you and tell you it was a great party. But I'll be damned if I don't tell you that my house looked FABULOUS for such a shitty party. (I wish I had some actual good pictures to show you of the decor, but I took about 3 pictures in total that night...)

But for Christmas, I am determined to make my party much better in terms of entertainment, as well as decoration, as well as number of people.

Every year on the 22nd of December, I plan a party for my friends from high school for Christmas. We eat, play games, drink, laugh, exchange gifts, catch up, etc. It's a lot of fun and I enjoy their company. We are all so busy the rest of the year, but we take this one evening each year to get together and celebrate the holidays. Usually we have the party at my friend Katie's house, but this year it's at my house. So now I'm obviously planning and decorating up a storm in preparation.

Although I cannot guarantee you will actually have an epic party for the holidays, I can guarantee that you will at least have fun preparing for a party for the holidays, and you might consider it epic no matter what your guests may say at the end of the night.

I have come up with a list of things for you to make/do for your party so that you can stress less during this oh-so-stressful holiday season. Here ya go:

- Invitations. Though these are not all that important, it's still fun to make one or just shoot out a colorful email with date, time and address. To save paper and to save having to obtain everyone's address, I made a cute little invite online (minted.com) and took a screenshot of the final product instead of actually buying it, then cropped and edited the screenshot and VOILA! My beautiful Christmas party invitation with all the information needed for guests. I then made a Facebook event and placed this invitation as the "event photo" and now everyone can see it in all its glory. Seriously, don't spend money or waste paper on party invitations anymore, when you can do this! Or you can always make your own special one with Microsoft Word or Publisher or Adobe Photoshop or whatever it is you decide you're good at and you like using to make creative stuff. (If you're feeling extra festive, you can go to dafont.com and download some sweet fonts for free!)

- Make a list and check it twice. You can get some great ideas for a Christmas party from a multitude of sources. This blog post is one, obviously. But Pinterest has wonderful ideas as far as food and games and decor go (which are all things I will get into in a bit!). I, myself, have dedicated an entire board (made up of 45 pins!) on Pinterest to Christmas party ideas, which you can find here. Once you have some ideas, start making a To-Do list, a grocery list, a shopping list, whatever kind of list you deem necessary to help prepare yourself (or remind yourself) of certain aspects of your party.

#FABULOUS

- Decorations. If you want your party to look absolutely FABULOUS (see .gif), you gotta go big with the decor. So, green and red EVERYTHING. Streamers, lights, plates, napkins, cups, banners, you name it. You can get a ton of your decorations for free (and for your personal use only) via printables on the intrawebz. Just Google "Free Christmas Printables." See what comes up. If that doesn't work, go to the Dollar Store and go crazy (but not too crazy, you have other things to do and buy and prepare for). Or, if you're the more Do-It-Yourself kinda person, break out the markers and poster board and paper and whatever else you need to get creative. Whatever route you choose, have fun with it. And don't forget - if you've already got the Christmas tree, you're pretty much golden from there.

- Games. There are a ton of games out there that you can play at any type of party, so I will give you some fun ideas. Any kind of board game or boxed game will do (although Monopoly takes forever and can often get a bit heated between friends and family), but my favorites are Pictionary, Scribblish, Mad Gab, Taboo, and Scattergories. Card games are beyond fun, too: Spoons, Animal, War, or other card game such as Cards Against Humanity or Apples to Apples. Battle of the Sexes and trivia games are also great party games. Or! Make your own! Click here for ideas. (Side note: some drinking games may also be acceptable and/or fun!)

- Food. The most important of all the party ideas. Because who doesn't love to eat?! Get festive and decorative! Bake cookies, cupcakes, cakes, other fun desserts. Buy candy, appetizers, dinner. Go big or go home, man. There are so many clever and creative food ideas for Christmas. Like these adorable reindeer cupcakes made out of frosting, pretzels, chocolate wafers and M&M's!

- Hot cocoa bar. This is my favorite idea ever. I'm totally having one at my party in less than 2 weeks. Boil a whole lotta hot water, put out a bowl of regular ol' hot cocoa mix (or feel free to make your own or buy some fun flavors!), and let your guests go to town. Don't forget the fixin's: marshmallows, chocolate chips, whipped cream, candy canes, chocolate and caramel syrups, you name it! There's so much tasty stuff you can put in a small cup of hot chocolate. This hot cocoa bar is the perfect way for guests to warm up on a snowy and chilly winter night. Make it fancy or keep it simple, but make sure you and your guests make use of it (which I'm sure you/they will if it's cold enough out!), and enjoy it.

- Music. There's so much Christmas music out there - check out Spotify or Pandora or your local radio station for holiday tunes. Don't be a Grinch - play some Frank Sinatra or Mariah Carey (whatever's more your speed) and get dancin'!

- Movies. There's also a ton of Christmas movies and shows out there just waiting to be watched by you! So, in case you get extra bored at your party, power up the TV and watch some Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. You seriously can't go wrong. And if you disagree with me, I'll just tell you straight up: you're wrong, sir Ebenezer.

- Gifting. The last few years my friends and I have done a "grab bag." I'm terrible at explaining things, so here's a link to fill you in on what that even means: Grab Bag E-How. This year we're doing Secret Santa: a Western Christmas tradition in which members of a group or community are randomly assigned a person to whom they anonymously give a gift. Or just give a small gift to everyone! It's completely up to you, of course. But grab bag and Secret Santa are better for your wallet! So just a heads up.

There you have it, folks. Enjoy all your holiday festivities, and especially enjoy your holiday party. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everybody!

How to Survive Finals Week

Finals are here, and so is the end of your life.

Of course I'm only half kidding. Your social life is on hold, sure, but it's certainly not the end of your life. At least I sure hope not.

So, have you been studying? Have you been keeping up with that final paper? Of course not! Why would you? Why make things easy for yourself when you can procrastinate the hell out of those finals and do anything else instead? Am I right? Or am I right?

Because I'm 110% with you on this (I have yet to pick up a pen, notebook or book at all related to any of my classes this semester), I thought maybe I'd try and help you out a bit. Two noggins are better than one, no?

I don't have all the answers to your problems, nor do I have all the answers to those multiple choice questions on your biology final, nor can you have an antennae under your hat with a guy giving you all the answers through a walkie talkie (Spongebob anyone?). But I can give you some advice. You may find it all entirely useless and stupid, but hey, I'm trying here, okay?

There are three important steps when it comes to finals and finals' week. These are:

1. PREPARATION.
2. STUDYING.
3. CELEBRATION.

Now that you're aware of the three major stages of finals (there will be a final on all of this material at the end of this blog post), let's explore these steps in much further depth. Because, yes, there's more to everything than meets the eye. 

So now it's time to crack down on that final paper; and time to crack down on studying for that final exam you've been dreading.

Whether you're 3 pages in, or you've spent all that time doing this (look to your left), I'll give you some help. Follow these guidelines and you'll at least be a little better off than you were before. We can only hope.

First, you gotta prepare for the grueling study-time (STEP 1: PREPARATION). Here are some (obvious) ideas to help get you prepared:

- Put all irrelevant electronics away. This mainly means your phone... You shouldn't be texting while you should be studying or writing that damn paper. If you absolutely need a computer, fine, but you should only have PowerPoint or Word or whatever else you absolutely NEED open on said computer. If you think the internet (Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, whatever else) will be a terrible distraction, try going about your paper or whatever it is you're doing on the computer the old-fashioned way. Break out the pen and paper and get to writing. Calculators may be necessary, but make sure you're not fooling around on it and instead doing what you should be doing on it.

- Find a quiet place. Whether some small nook or cranny in your house or nearby library, make sure there's no noise distractions. Maybe you're one to put in some earphones and listen to some music-- make sure it's not distracting; instrumental music might be best for some. But aside from that, make sure there's little to no noise pollution surrounding you. -- I am hesitant to put "comfy" in with this tip... Because if you find a quiet and comfy place, you could get too comfortable and fall asleep. Which is obviously something that needs to be avoided in the case of studying for finals. But then again, if you're going to be there for a while, you don't want to be sitting on a Goddamn rock. So find something or somewhere moderately comfortable.

- CAFFEINE. Drink it. Pump it into your veins. However you may consume it, it is sometimes very necessary. So before you sit down in your quiet and semi-comfy place without any of your irrelevant electronics, grab a large cup of coffee/tea/soda and you're ready to get down to business!

So now that you're all prepared and settled in for studying - phone away, coffee in hand, sitting in a corner somewhere - your next few steps fall under the category of "actual study time" (STEP 2: STUDYING):

- Read. Books, any notes that you've taken, PowerPoints, anything at all related to your subject matter. For example -- I have an Economics final on Friday (And I'm sitting here writing this instead... Eeeeeeek!). I have my textbook, my notes, and a bunch of PowerPoint slides that my teacher lectured us with. So I'm going to basically just READ READ READ until my eyes bleed and pop out of my head. Extreme? Yes. But necessary? Yes.

- Take notes on your notes. I find that the best way for me to learn is for me to write something over and over again. So I pull out another notebook, sheet of paper, or some index cards, and I copy my notes over. After I've written each thing maybe once or twice, I read it all over again.

- Team up with a classmate or two. This is, of course, if you absolutely have to. You may be like me and completely dread group projects. Because I don't like people. Especially when we have to work together to achieve a certain goal for a certain grade. But! If you think it will help to buddy up, go for it. Maybe you'll get some helpful insight here and there. Hey, it's worth a try. So maybe you shouldn't be so negative (like me) and bash the group project thing, even if they do wind up letting you down, you should go for it anyway.

- Ask your professor. If you really have no idea what you're studying or doing (cough, cough - me and Economics), email your professor and ask if they're doing a study sesh or something similar. Which leads me to...

- If there are study sessions, GO TO THEM. Some teachers are "nice" enough to have a few classes to help you prepare for the final exam or work on your final paper. I highly suggest you go to such classes. They will help you, I promise.

Lastly, your third step: CELEBRATING! Whether or not you think you passed, as long as you gave it your all, it's time to celebrate! Get out there and PARTAYYYYY! You did it! It's over! ... Until next semester and it happens all over again! Hooray! Oh, wait.

But for now, it's not over. UGH. I KNOW. Get to work, ya bum!

Before you do, I think you probably need a little pick me up, so here's Ryan Gosling to wish you good luck (look to your right) ------------>>>>>>

And here's a slightly less attractive person to also wish you good luck.... (look below). 

Happy Finals Week!

Come Join the Existential Crisis Club!

Hello, friends.

I've come to realize that my blog pretty much sucks, but I'm also a true believer in "Practice makes perfect," so I'm going to keep 'sucking' until something good comes out of it. That sentence sounds horrific, but you catch my drift I hope.

Anyway, recently I've been having an "existential crisis" (I guess that's what I'm going to call it) and I've been feeling just generally terrible. It's a weird feeling when you begin (or continue) to question your existence, your purpose, etc. Not many people have the time or the energy to think about such things, but knowing myself and how bored I often can be, I waste my last tiny bit of energy on thoughts such as these. It's unfortunate really, but it happens. They often say the quietest people have the loudest minds. I could not fit that cliche any more than I actually do. My point is: I've been wondering what life is, where it's going, who I am, etc.

Just like Derek Zoolander, I'm having trouble finding my place in the world (Should I be a really really really ridiculously good looking male model or a coal miner?).

In all seriousness, life is tough, and I'm struggling to find out the deeper meanings in life. Maybe you're experienced something similar, maybe not. Either way, this post is for you to help you in whatever sort of way you may need help in your life. Whether life is going smoothly, or you've fallen into a deep, deep hole in the ground, we could all use a little boost every now and then. I'm hoping something in this post sparks some weird sort of inspiration or motivation and gets you thinking. Maybe you'll even find some temporary answers.

I don't have the answers to the big life questions. Liz Lemon always seems to be struggling with these issues, and no matter what age or gender or color or whatever you are (hell, you could be a damn porcupine and still have this problem), there probably is no "real" solution. I don't think we'll ever figure out the answers to any of our existential questions. No matter what you believe in, I'm sure we're all sort of going through similar trying times in attempting to figure out what it is that makes us US.

Do you know what I mean? I could be making little to no sense to you, to everyone, even to myself, but I need to write this all out and see where it takes me. But in all honesty, this could all just be "some white nonsense."

I've spent most of my morning looking up internships and careers. I'm letting you all know (and this shouldn't even be written down or said aloud to anyone until I make the ultimate decision) that I'm considering quitting school, or just not finishing. I have hated school from Day One. But I've suffered through it, despite nearly killing myself half a dozen times because of it. Maybe it's not all that awful, but I sure as hell make it out to be a miserable hell of my own. But I can't seem to help it. School (and when I say school in this context, I mainly mean college or higher education) is one of those things that I personally feel shouldn't even be a requirement in our society. I mean, no where is it written that it is, but you can't get a "great" job or "career" without some bit (or a lot of) higher education. And it sucks. Why does our society have to function that way? Some of the smartest people out there and some that I know barely made it through high school. And then once we spend a ton of time and money in school, we have to get out into the "real world," or the "adult world" and get a job, buckle down, work work work, retire, die. I realize how horribly morbid and depressing I'm making it out to be, but I'm just giving you an idea of how I've been thinking about life and school and careers and everything and how and why it makes me so effing miserable all the damn time.

Back to my thinking of quitting school, though. Even though a lot of the jobs I'm looking at require 4-year degrees, I don't care. I think I'm a smart enough, good enough HUMAN BEING to get a job or start a career that I love and that makes me happy and feel fulfilled. So take that, universe.

You may think I'm being overly "soul-searchy," or "too deep" but I don't really care, because this is how I feel and I am, for once, going to validate those feelings by telling you that they are real, and that I don't know what to do about them. Hence, this blog post. Sorry for weirding you out, if that is the case, but I need to get this all off my chest in order to possibly move on from it.

If you, too, need help in moving on from it, try writing down how you're feeling, all the questions you may have, and don't let those feelings and questions get you down. That's much much much easier said then done, as I know all too well, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you think these things, then have some sort of strange epiphany. And it lasts for about a fifth of a second, and then you go back to being what some would consider crazy.

Accept the crazy. The fact that you're thinking this much about something so deep and personal and impossibly difficult means that you're alive, you're bright enough to be thinking, your brain is functioning properly, etc. See? Lots of good stuff may come of this after all.

When all else fails, shrug it off. 

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

-- Robert Frost

Holiday Gift Ideas

Evening, y'all!

How's everyone doing today?

As I sit here all bundled up in my room on this very chilly day in upstate New York (but luckily not western New York-- some parts have over 3 feet of snow!!!), I have nothing else to really do other than to write some bullsh!t blog entry about some bullsh!t stuff. I know I shouldn't talk about my ideas or my writing like that, but sometimes it's true. I don't care if one person reads this, or no one reads this. I will just be happy enough having written it. And that's all that matters, right?

No matter what holiday you celebrate this upcoming season, I'm sure you've got plenty of loved ones to shop for. Whether you choose to go the expensive or inexpensive route, or the crafty or store-bought route, there's a ton of stuff out there that's just waiting to be bought/made by you, and given to someone special. So here's a list of some ideas that I would personally love to receive (hint, hint), but that I'm sure some of your family and friends would love as well!

• Photo frames: For the photographer. Marshalls, TJ Maxx, the Dollar Store, Michael's, and plenty of other stores out there similar to these mentioned ones, have lots of inexpensive and really unique and pretty frames for you to gift. Leave the frames empty, or put in a photo of you and the receiver of the gift, or write a little message/quote on paper and place in the frame. And voila! You have a sweet little gift.

• Notecards: For the letter-writer in your family or group of friends! Buy a pack of cute notecards from any of the above mentioned stores, or buy in bulk online and create your own! Recently I've been making my own with some photos I've taken. I use them to write letters to my grandparents frequently, or as thank you notes, birthday cards, etc. You can use them for a variety of things-- don't restrict yourself. (I bought the blank note cards on Amazon.com- 50 to a pack, includes envelopes- and then bought my photo prints at Walmart! I even sell mine or give packs away). Who doesn't love good ol' fashioned snail mail? A handwritten letter will never lead you astray. 

• Notebooks: For the writer. Go to your local bookstore and you'll find a section full of beautiful and artsy notebooks that make fantastic gifts! I know I can't get enough of these awesome notebooks--or any notebook, for that matter-- and the writer in your family or group of friends will love a notebook or two just as much! To add a special little touch, write a sweet message on the inside cover.

• Mugs: For the coffee/tea drinker. One of the best gifts you can give! Buy one with pretty colors or an intricate design, or buy a blank one and get to paintin' or drawin'! Here's a link with some fun (and easy!) ideas: Click me! 

• Books: For the reader. Ah, yes, books. The most perfect gifts. In my opinion, anyway. Find out what your loved one likes to read, just to get a general idea, then do some research! There are lots of great (and TERRIBLE) books out there. So be careful in your searching. Instead of buying the books brand spankin' new (and brand spankin' expensive), try half.com, Amazon, or a local used bookstore. But make sure when you buy used books, that they're still in good condition!

• Music: For the musician or lover of music. Whether it's a full album, a mix tape (do these even exist anymore?), or an iTunes gift card, share the joy of music with someone you love. This is, of course, the best time of year to share your favorite Christmas music with someone. Not only is music a great gift, but it's also a great way to bond with a friend. Break out the CDs, radio, whatever your choice is, and get singin'! Take it from the movie Elf: "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear."

• FOOD: Perfect for everyone and anyone. Seriously, though. You can't go wrong with food (unless someone has a food allergy!). Homemade goodies, a whole meal, desserts, you name it! Whatever you enjoy making or baking or cooking or even buying (who am I to judge?), gift it! As always - to add a personal touch, write a little message or quote or cute saying. Here's a great example of something as simple as Hershey's Kisses in a kitchen whisk (to the right). So get creative! Spice it up with some ribbons and bows and fun packaging details. The possibilities are endless with this great food idea! Candy, cookies, cupcakes, muffins, or even a jar full of baked good recipe ingredients for your receiver of the gift to make themselves! Google some more foods that make great and easy gifts. I'm sure there's plenty more than I've mentioned...

• Soaps and lotions: Not necessarily for your smelly friends. Nevertheless, plenty of people are looking for some good-smelling soaps, lotions, body washes, etc. My sister may say otherwise, but I personally think they make a pretty decent gift. You even have the option of making your own and putting it in a jar and gifting it. My friend Melissa made my friends and I this fabulous body scrub last Christmas. And though I have yet to use it (oops, sorry, Meliss), I'm still a fan.

• Coupons: For whoever you like! By coupons, I mean this: make your own coupon book filled with fun things to do (lunch, dinner, movies, etc.). I've made these a few times for my boyfriend, my friends, and my family. And I gotta say, they're a pretty big hit! (Though I will warn you, if you put a coupon in there for a "free back rub" for your boyfriend or significant other or whoever, he will insist upon it and you may or may not dread it-- also, don't make the free back rub more than 5 minutes...). From my own personal experience, I find the coupons to be a sweet and thoughtful gift that you can personalize however you like!

I know there's plenty of other great gift ideas out there, but for the the sake of space and time, I will provide you with some links to other sites that give what I think are great lists of gift ideas for the holidays:

• Handmade Christmas Gifts
• DIY Christmas Gifts
• Easy DIY Gift Ideas

There you have it, folks! I hope you get some ideas and the holiday craziness isn't nearly as bad as it usually is / has been. Remember: HAVE FUN! That's the most important thing, I think. And making other people happy, but ehhh.

Have a great rest of your evening/night!

xoxo, Clare